A few days after writing one of the first articles I posted here, I flew back to Chicago to see my mom, who was sick and in the hospital with cancer. This was not a new development. After her first bout with cancer, it appeared again six short months later. At this point, she was in the hospital more than she was out of it, and things were looking worse then ever. Far worse.
It was one of those “take the next flight out” situations, and I did. About 12 hours after I arrived, she took her last breath. And that was a year ago today.
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Perhaps the most striking thing in the last years of my mom’s life was her decision to earn her undergraduate degree (which she never got while young). She spent the last few years of her life in classrooms with students her childrens’ age, and at the end of those years, walked across the stage as the top student in the Communications Department.
Her first battle against cancer came shortly thereafter, but she was hardly off chemo before she was sending applications to grad schools. I was impressed and proud. Unfortunately, she was not a month into her classes when she had to email her professors to take some time off– the cancer was back.
Frankly, I have no idea what it’s like to tell your boss you’re taking time off to suffer through a life-threatening disease. She did. I have no idea what it’s like to pick out your gravesite. She knows. Designing your own tombstone? Amateur artist to the last, my mom sure did. Read More
This weekend, I travelled down to Portland, Oregon for the second ever World Domination Summit. This event has always been a bit of a challenge to try and describe. ”The World what!?” most people ask. Here we go again… It’s basically a convention for people who are into micro-entrepreneurship, life-hacking, and travel. It is a crap-ton of fun, and I got to meet a lot of people and learn some cool stuff.
This post is a bit different from my regular ones. I want to tell you about what I learned this weekend– and also why I don’t think I’ll be going back next year.
Lessons from WDS
When you can’t be vulnerable, joy is foreboding. The opening talk at the conference was on vulnerability. Yes, we had to sing at our neighbor and dance in the aisle. But it wasn’t kindergarten all over again. The speaker was Brene Brown– and in case there’s any confusion, I mean the Brene Brown with one of the most watched TED Talks of all time. And yup, she had some serious bombs to drop on us.
This one in particular stuck with me. It’s about vulnerability and joy.
Vulnerability is tough. Being yourself when everyone else expects something different? That’s not as glamorous as it seems. It’s all sweaty palms and worrying what people will think. But the alternative is having your soul crushed and being false to yourself, so it’s worthwhile.
And beyond that, it’s necessary. Life is uncertain. You aren’t in charge here. That’s vulnerability right there. And tell me, how does it strike you knowing tomorrow you could be dodgin’ the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? I don’t know, but if it doesn’t strike you so well, Brene Brown wants you to get over it. If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t live.
Does that make sense? If you can’t be vulnerable, every peak is just something you could fall off of. Regression to the mean and gravity are teaming up to ruin your day. And Brene talked about just that. She was on a long-overdue date night with her husband, walking back from dinner through the park on a summer night, when visions of masked muggers Read More
After leaving school, I decided to spend “the last summer vacation of my life” working on my life goals full-time. I went through my list one evening, picked a few items I could start on that summer, and dove in. That summer ended up being one of the best of my life. I was spending my 40 hours a week training for a marathon, learning to rock climb, doing martial arts, and reading all the books I had always wanted to.
When I got to Seattle to start my job, I started talking to everyone I met about what I was doing. I noticed something interesting: a lot of people wanted to live their lives with greater focus on their goals. We couldn’t devote 40 hours a week to it, but we wanted to do something in our day-to-day that reflected greater priorities.
And so the Finishing School was born. The Finishing School is a group of people that meets once a month or so for each member to report on what they’ve done on their life goals, as well as get encouragement and advice from the group. There are two rules to the Finishing School:
- Every member must make at least some progress on at least one goal
- If this is your first night at the Finishing School, you must read your entire life goal list
So that’s where I’m at– writing this blog, being part of the Seattle Finishing School, and achieving my own goals (currently working on: climb Mt. Rainier). If this sounds cool, here are a few recommendations:
- Poke around here and see if anything interests you (recommendations below; my life list here)
- Want to start a Finishing School in your city? Let me know and I’ll hook you up with advice and other people interested
- Join the Bucket List Society mailing list (see the side bar on the right)
And to get you started reading, here are a few of my favorite and most popular posts.
- 5 Bold Rules for Journaling. I think journaling is one of the best possible activities you can spend your time on. Here’s why, and here’s what to do when you journal.
- 5 Public Speaking Tips You Haven’t Heard Anywhere Else. I’ve done a fair bit of public speaking, and I’ve never run across advice as useful as what I’ve had to find for myself. Here’s that wisdom– let me know if it works for you too.
- Eurisk: my theme for 2012. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions, but I describe my “theme for 2012″ here. It’s about taking chances on the things that might help you the most.